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On the high wire, dressed in a leotard, there wobbles one hell of a retard

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September 13th, 2015


10:04 am
So it's that time of year again when I miss Alex so terribly and I read through all my Live Journal entries to find old memoroies I've forgotten to try and take the place of the new memories we can't make.

I can't believe how much fun I used to have. And how much bitching went on. I seem to remember things being worse than I wrote but maybe I wasn't being truthful as I guess I let a lot of people read this and I didn't want to look like a clown.

I'm up to New Year 2008. So I have two more years to read really. I'm very upset I didn't write as much about Alex as really happened. It seems like I just didn't get it, although it was nearly 10 years ago that everything happened. I'm going to spend some time later and write about everything I do remember, just so I can't forget.

I went to see Alex's grave yesterday with a beautiful bunch of flowers but I couldn't fucking find him. Not anywhere, I wanlked around the graveyard chain smoking for an hour and a half and tried to call the reverend but no one was in. Ended up taking Alex's flowers to the pub next door and getting a bit pissed and chatted to an old lady about my troubles. The flowers are now in a massive vase in my room.

I went out last night with Jenna to see Darren Hayman but she didn't want to watch him with me, that was ok, but then afterwards she wouldn't dance with me anmd when she did want to dance she got everyone to come over to the dancing area and then just stood there taking the piss out of me dancing on my own so I told her to fuck off and went home. Such a dysphoric rage I wanted to stab myself in the heart and I think I would have if I hadn't spoken to Alex C on the phone.

I don't think it was helped by James Grinion not coming to meet me like he said. He even said 'i'm on my way!' and then didn't fucking turn up. I think I would have been ok if there were more people there rather than just Jenna, Arno, Dutch One and Jen who I don't know very well.

Watched the latest episode of You're the Worst when I got in, smoked a joint and ate loads of cheesy chips. Fell asleep and forgot to put my retainer in.

Today I'm going to town, need to try and get my iphone fixed, it keeps shutting down or being weird when I don't want it to. It's a really beautiful day here and I hope I get out before it turns crap again which it will inevitably do.
Current Music: Sunday Brunch

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February 13th, 2006


01:58 am
Sam Riley to play Ian Curtis?
Sam Riley as in 10,000 things Sam Riley?
Really?
Apparently so, according to many websites. Pictures of him taken by the director and everything.
It was only a few weeks ago that we had a rock and roll dance to sex beat. Can i finally say i've danced with a star or is this all a joke?

I knew i should have spoken to him on thursday!

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November 9th, 2005


05:11 pm - QUALITY
Where are my socks? Next to your loin cloth! says:
my nipples are like conkers

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October 12th, 2004


02:33 pm - Comment and i might add you
                                          

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October 11th, 2004


02:12 pm
London seems to be getting more expected. yes. get in.

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October 10th, 2004


09:54 am - last entry of the day, i promice
i just ordered a digital camera. i'm super poor now.

there's no such thing as a Jaggy snake.

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October 6th, 2004


07:48 pm
Death from above 1979 make me feel better.

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October 4th, 2004


10:11 pm
i am really looking forward to tomorrow night.

i am going to ask Adam Green if i can take pictures of him for my art. If i see him and don't faint.

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09:08 pm
hahaha something even sadder came on.

Ryan adams singing wonderwall *weaps*

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October 3rd, 2004


10:09 pm
So, i decided to peirce my own ear, it hurts a lot.

didn't even use ice, used an old unwashed pin, and i did it too close to the cartilage so it will probably infect my entire ear.

Sophie will be displeased. she is an ear peircing specialist at claire's accessories.

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